Trump, Kim Jong-un Exchange Love Letters

Donald Trump, who desperately wants his base to sweep him into Real Power as a Dictator, is in political love with North Korea’s more than brutal dictator, Kim Jong-un.


Bemused by his base into thinking he deserves a Nobel Prize for Peace, Trump is desperate to talk the untalkable yet talky Kim into denuking North Korea.


So the two, one too old to sit in the Oval Office, the other too young to rule his already terrorized people, have been exchanging love letters (


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Can we here at AP make any rational predictions about the outcome of their courtship?


We asked associate solitary reporter Ko Il-sun, who spends much of his time in the DMZ, for his thoughts.


“I think Kim will get Trump to talk South Korea’s Moon Jae-in to agree to a hyper-secret deal to carve out a huge hole on Jeju Island, a tourist destination for thousands of South Koreans,” Ko began, in a boring monotone.


"In that hole, Kim would put a top secret nuke facility from which he could, on a moment’s notice, launch a hydrogen bomb to take out Seattle if the US were to refuse to capitulate to his demands.”


After listening for several hours to Ko’s apocalyptic prediction, we threw up our hands in despair.


That’s when associate solitary reporter Johanna Jones told us that Trump will persuade Kim to let him build a mega-resort just north of the DMZ, with all the profits to go to Kim personally. “I know for sure that Kim will go for that,” she told us.