Trump Taps Lawbreaker Kellyanne Conway to Succeed Huckabee Sanders

The Hatch Act (which has nothing to do with former GOP senator from Utah Orrin Hatch, a friend of the late Ted Kennedy) forbids federal employees from engaging in political activity.


Your solitary reporter used to be one of those until 1980, and the first thing he did when he left federal service was to attend his neighborhood Denver Democratic Party precinct caucus.


Kellyanne Conway claims credit for Donald Trump’s winning fewer popular votes than Hillary Clinton in 2016. And now, she's his Counselor. We’re not sure what she does for Trump, but whatever it is, she’s loyal to him. And for Trump, that’s all that counts.


She is married to superlawyer George Conway, who has, from time to time, expressed his unfavorable opinions about his wife’s government supervisor.


Problem with Kellyanne Conway is that she has noticeably and conspicuously broken the Hatch Act, which was passed in 1939. The Hatch Act has been challenged on constitutional grounds, and legislation has been proposed to repeal or modify it, but GOP presidents Ford and Bush One have vetoed all such attempts.


Yesterday, the Office of Special Counsel (not Mueller), an independent federal agency, said that Kellyanne Conway, one of Trump’s biggest loudmouths, has repeatedly violated the Hatch Act and that she should be removed from federal service (;


Can you guess what lawbreaker Trump will do about that?


You got that right: nada, rien, nichts, niente, ezer (Basque), res (Catalan), nihil, nunda (Corsican, a language not spoken either by your solitary reporter or multilingual associate solitary reporter Larry Theis), nic (Czech, a language spoken by Trump Junior, son of Trump’s first trophy wife), niets (Dutch), rud ar bith (Irish), na inona na inona (Malagasy, one of the two official languages of Madagascar, a country Trump has never heard of), xejn (Maltese, a language spoken by the late Joseph Anthony Buttigieg II, father of boyish Dem presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg), nic (Polish), nimic (Romanian), ha ho altho (Sesotho), nic (Slovenian, a language spoken by Barron), hech nurse (Uzbek, the official language spoken in Uzbekistan, a country Trump has never heard of), dim byd (Welsh) zip, nothin’ doin’.


To confirm all this, Trump says he won’t fire her (


Trump’s other obnoxious mouthpiece is Sarah Huckabee, the most prominent graduate of Ouachita Baptist University in Arkadelphia, Arkansas. Huckabee Sanders has not held a press briefing for ninety-four days, in keeping with Trump’s hatred of all media except Fox News. Ouachita Baptist University is affiliated with the Arkansas Baptist State Convention. Sarah Huckabee was baptized into politics by her father, former Theocratic Party presidential candidate and former Arkansas govenor Mike Huckabee. Huckabee, who, in her capacity as Press Secretary for our Liar-in-Chief, announced in Twitterese yesterday that she’s leaving Trump’s service at the end of the month. 


And Trump wants her to run for governor of Arkansas in 2023.


With associate solitary reporter Johanna Jones observing from the sidelines, our Lawbreaker-in-Chief announced moments ago that he’s tapped Conway to succeed Huckabee Sanders as his Chief Mouthpiece.


“I really like it that Kellyanne is shrill, and she is very good at castigating all Democrats on government time,” Trump said at a hastily called news conference.