Trump Replaces Coats With Barr

Donald Trump claims to be the most transparent dude ever to sit in the Oval Office.


On Thursday, he gave his Attorney General, William Barr, sweeping powers to declassify our nation’s most closely guarded secrets, and it was all at Barr’s suggestion (


But associate solitary reporter Lewis Thompson, as always, saw right through it: it was all designed so Trump could go after anybody who thought he's too close to Vladimir Putin.


In Tokyo, associate solitary reporter Johanna Jones watched in amazement as Trump sat next to Japan’s Abe Shinzo as Trump called Director of National Intelligence Dan Coats to tell him that he’s replacing him with Barr.


“Dan, I need somebody as my Director of National Intelligence who is totally loyal to me, so Barr’s gonna be both my DNI and my top law enforcement guy to go after Biden, as well as my personal attorney.”


Manfully shrugging his shoulders, Coats packed up his office and headed home to Indiana, which he represented in the Senate for a total of 16 years.