Will Trump Wrestle With Sumo Champs Tomorrow to Show Off His Machismo? And Will Emperor Naruhito Confer on Him the Title of Emperor of the World?

Donald Trump is in Japan, ostensibly to meet fifty-nine year old 徳仁 (Emperor Naruhito).

 

Trump's first foreign trip in 2016 was to Saudi Arabia, where he was treated to elaborate banquets. When he goes anywhere, if he is not adulated by his hosts, he ain’t happy.

 

安倍 晋三 (Abe Shinzo), Japan’s Prime Minister, was the first foreign leader to visit him in November 2016 after he lost the popular vote to Hillary. Makes sense from Abe’s point of view because of North Korea’s nukes.

 

Though not universally popular in Japan, Abe is a much more seasoned world leader than our Liar-in-Chief.

 

Since their well-publicized meeting in Trump Tower after the election, Abe and Trump have spoken by phone forty times ((https://www.cnn.com/2019/05/25/politics/trump-japan/index.html). That’s because Abe knows that the only way to persuade the nearly unpersuadable Trump to do anything is to flatter him.

 

They went golfing today, in a well-scripted move by Abe & friends, with a US Air Force helicopter carrying Trump to the links.

 

And tomorrow, Abe has arranged for Donald to watch a sumo match, and Abe says that sumo is of a different order of magnitude than the NFL (where players butt heads to win millions while possibly hoping to avoid concussions).

 

Ostensibly, Trump was invited to Japan to meet Emperor 徳仁, but there’s much more at stake, espeiclaly Trump’s need for a vacation away from the increasingly impeachment-prone Dems in the House.

 

Associate solitary reporter Ko Il-sun, who is based in Seoul, and associate solitary reporter Larry Theis (both of whom are fluent in Japanese) met privately with Abe after the golf outing.

 

Abe told them in confidence that he is well aware that Trump wants to be Emperor of the World,

 

“Ko-san and Theis-san,” he began, "you are both well aware that the Emperor of Japan occupies a purely ceremonial role in our country, so I have arranged for Naruhito, when he meets Trump on Monday, to confer on him the title of Emperor of the World (except for Japan).

 

“That should give me time to talk him out of his foolish bromance with Kim Jong-un, and, as well, to persuade him to quit jabbering about the US trade imbalance with Japan.”

 

‘I hope that Melania will enjoy meeting Empress Masako, who is much prettier than she is.”