In Khartoum, Barr Learns How Omar al-Bashir Kept An Iron Grip on Sudan

Anybody who serves as Attorney General of the United States is sworn to follow the Constitution and the rule of law, but Donald Trump picked a smartass for his Attorney General who is even more arrogant than he is.


Trump is a street fighter from Gotham, and so is William Barr.


When Trump conspicuously pulled James Comey to him in front of God and everybody in 2017, he told him he expected Total Loyalty.


Trump told Comey, then FBI Director, that he wanted him to “go easy” on his then National Security Advisor, Gen. Michael Flynn.


Trump’s close personal and business friend, former Communist Vladimir Putin (a man much smarter on the world stage than Trump) infamously wanted Trump to defeat Hillary, 


Sen. Jeff Sessions was the first Republican senator to endorse Trump, so Trump made him his Attorney General, expecting him to do his bidding.


So now Barr has protected Trump from being criminally charged for obstructing justice, even though Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s Report provides ample evidence on the basis of which Barr should have decided that Trump’s nothing but a crook who gets to sit in an oval office where Hillary should be sitting, badmouth everybody who gets in his way, and issue tweetstorms to rev up his deplorable base.


On Wednesday, Barr testified before Sen. Lindsey Graham’s Judiciary Committee on how he mishandled the Mueller Report. As one of Trump’s numerous primary opponents in 2016, Graham twice called Trump a jackass, and didn’t even vote for him (, but Graham's now one of Trump’s close political friends (who says hypocrisy ain’t part of the GOP mojo?).


After exchanging countless verbal blows with Dem members of Graham’s committee on Wedesday, while purporting to testify truthfully, Barr snubbed House Judiciary Chairman Jerry Nadler (D-NY) yesterday by refusing to show. 


Our chief international correspondent, associate solitary reporter Larry Theis, follows all the news all over the world, so we sent him to Khartoum to cover the fast-moving developments in Sudan.


Theis, who is fluent in Arabic, wanted to interview ousted dictator Omar al-Bashir — yup, the guy who’s been charged with crimes against humanity by the International Criminal Court — but last month, Bashir was ousted  by his own military.


“I wanted to ask Bashir about his techniques for keeping his extraordinary grip on his country for thirty years," Theis texted us, "but they wouldn’t let me see him.”


Theis was at the Khartoum airport when he spotted Barr hurriedly leaving a US Air Force plane. Theis followed the limousine taking Barr to a secret rendezvous-vous with Bashir. Theis slipped into their meeting unobserved.


“General Bashir,” Barr began, “Mr. Trump asked me to meet with you to learn how you managed to stay in power for thirty straifght years.”


“Bill,” Bashir replied, “it was easy. AlI I had to do was to personally order the killing of 400,00 civilians in Darfur. If your guy Trump wants to stay in power, he’ll have to learn how to be a really tough leader like me.”


“Why don’t you ask your buddy Trump to send his Seal Team Six over here and spring me, so I can keep doing what i do best?”


Barr said he will eagerly convey Bashir’s message to his client.