In Which We Foretell the Fate of Michael Avenatti (Stormy Daniels' Lawyer)

Our Denier-in-Chief says he never had sex with pornstar Stormy Daniels or with former Playboy playmate Karen McDougal.


Stormy's bulldog lawyer, Michael Avenatti, wanted to run for president, as a Democrat, but he’s been indicted in federal court in California, charged with wire fraud.


Avenatti lives very dangerously, as he is a professional race car driver. He'd love to be the Democratic nominee against Trump in 2020 so he can get in a fistfight with him, but he dropped out in December.


Our chief political strategist, associate solitary reporter Lewis Thompson, spoke with DNC Chair Tom Perez early this morning. 


“Lewis,” Perez said, “I’ve just spoken with U S Attorney Nicola Hanna, who is prosecuting Avenatti. She assured me that Avenatti’s going to the slammer really soon, so the way is clear for you to get Bernie over the finish line in 2020."