Meet the Newest Entrant In the Crowded Dem Presidential Field: ASR Johanna Jones

At 76, former Veep Joe Biden’s in for the run of his life.


At 77, Bernie Sanders is hauling in the dough, especially with small donor gifts. while Biden specializes in big donors.


Not to be outdone, our very best associate solitary reporter, Johanna Jones, who is with Donald Trump 24/7, is running against Trump as well, along with 88-year old Mike Gravel, the former senator from our biggest state. There are 21 Dem candidates who made it to Wikipedia’s list of major Democratic candidates (


And Colorado’s senior senator, Michael Bennet, who was born in India, hasn’t announced yet, while the Centennial State’s former governor, John Hickenlooper (who lives in your solitary reporter’s Precinct), is in, seeking the moderate, pro-business lane.


As devoted readers of this online newspaper know, ASR Jones is African American, and we vetted her for the Miss Universe competition, but knowing what Trump musta done to his many Miss Universe contestants in their dressing rooms, she very smartly decided not to compete for that somewhat dubious distinction.


And, at 25, Jones is by far the youngest in the Dem field.


When Gravel asked her how she meets the qualifications for office (you have to be at least 35), Jones said, “Mike, Trump’s broken every rule in the book, why can’t I?”


Overwhelmed by her beautify, Gravel bowed to her and announced that he’s backing out of the race in favor of youth and the Me Too movement.


Immediately after Biden released his announcement video, Trump tweeted about "Sleepy Joe," prompting Trump’s HUD Secretary, Ben Carson — who was on the stage with Trump in 2016 and spoke most of his rehearsed lines while being sound asleep — to cry foul.


“Nobody, I mean nobody,” Carson exclaimed, "does a better job of sleeping on the job than me.”


So here’s the most important part of this post: Barack Obama — who, when Kamala Harris was Attorney General of our most populous state, said that Harris was the nation’s best-looking Attorney General — has endorsed Jones, encouraged by his gorgeous wife, Michelle.


“I’m for youth and beauty,” Obama said, “and I know Joe's desperate for my endorsement, but I have to follow my heart."