Trump's Expertise in Fighting a Fire in a Church That Took Two Hundred Years to Build

Yesterday, we reported that Donald Trump has only one black friend, Tiger Woods (


But then alert reader Tony Arnold reminded us about Kanye West, whose net worth is north of $160,000,000.


Then we learned that Trump wants to give Tiger a national medal of freedom ( 


So we talked with Rick Reilly, author of Commander In Cheat: How Golf Explains Trump (2019).


“Trump’s very good in the cheating department; just ask his trophy wife number one and trophy wife number two,” Reilly explained to associate solitary reporter Lewis Thompson, the Moderator of the Unitarian Universalist Association.


“Tiger was pretty good at womanizing and cheating, too, so that must be the reason for this medal of freedom thing.”


As reported in yesterday’s Times, Trump urged French President Emmanuel Macron to drop a big dump of water on Notre Dame de Paris as it was burning.


Trump thinks he knows a lot of stuff, but we were unaware until yesterday that he considers himself to be an expert in extinguishing a fire in a massive building which was constructed starting in 1160.


Had Air Force One or Macron’s AirBus dumped water on the fire, it would have destroyed the iconic 12th century building, which took some two hundred years to complete.


Trump’s been playing with fire his entire life.


And he’s really good at playing with political fire, having totally hijacked the Republican Party, as well as having greatly fanned the flames of xenophobia.


Associate solitary reporter Larry Theis, who speaks not a single word of French, but who is fluent in German, was on the banks of the Seine as the “medieval forest” of wood in the classic Gothic cathedral burned.


Mit wie vielen Damen hat Trump gespielt?” ("I wonder how many dames Trump has frolicked with?") Theis asked our Paris-based associate solitary reporter, Celestine Malraux.


Malraux immediately replied, “Des centaines" (“hundreds").


Genauso, wie ich es mir dachte” (“Thanks, just as I thought”).


Elselwhere, associate solitary reporter Susanna Sherman was at the side of Interior Department Deputy Inspector General Mary L. Kendall as she opened an investigation into conflicts of interest by Trump’s brand-new Interior Secretary, David Bernhardt, only four days after he was confirmed (


Bernhardt, a native of Rifle, Colorado, is, no doubt, because of where he came from, a devoted adherent of the NRA’s top gunslinger, Wayne LaPierre.


Bernhardt was Trump’s Deputy Secretary of the Interior under dismissed Secretary Ryan Zinke, who left under an ethical cloud. Before that, Bernhardt was a lobbyist for oil companies with bigtme Denver law firm Brownstein Hyatt Farber Schreck.


Associate solitary reporter and Denver County Republican Chair Eddie Cook tweeted us to say he wishes ever so much to have Zinke back. “We need more corrupt pro-industry people in Washington. That’s the Republican way; but maybe this Bernhardt can surpass Zinke in terms of corruption.”