Trump Opines on the Therapeutic Effects of Wind Turbines

There is no such thing as a day going by without Donald Trump lying or saying something ridiculous, and on Thursday he said that the noise from wind turbines causes cancer (


So we sent associate solitary Lewis Thompson to the archives of comedic TV show Fernwood 2 Night, where he easily accessed the 1977 announcement that leisure suits cause cancer (/


ASR Thompson immediately texted associate solitary reporter Johanna Jones, who promptly asked Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee why Trump would say anything so stupid.


“Beats the bejesus out of me,” Huckabee Sanders said, astonishing ASR Jones by taking the Lord’s  name in vain, because Huckabee Sanders is the most prominent, by far, alumna of Ouachita Baptist University in Arkadelphia, Arkansas. “You’ll have to ask him, because the people at the National Institute of Cancer are going crazy trying to defend him.”


That’s when Health and Human Services Secretary Alex Azar — the former top guy at pharma giant Eli Lilly & Co. — jumped to the defense of National Institute of Cancer Director Ned Sharpless, who was put in that job by Trump.


“We’re all good Republicans,” Azar said, as he slapped Sharpless on the back, “and we know that whatever Mr. Trump says, is always true."