Hard Brexiteer Leaders Plan Destruction of the Chunnel

Our London-based associate solitary reporter, Danielle Packwood, a rising star in the Labour Party, has great difficulty understanding how Prime Minister Theresa May manages to get out of bed every

morning — especially after Packwood read Thomas Friedman’s column in today’s Times, “The United Kingdom Has Gone Mad: The problem with holding out for a perfect Brexit plan is that you can’t fix stupid” (https://www.nytimes.com/2019/04/02/opinion/brexit-news.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share).


Friedman’s column of today was preceded by our March 29 announcement that Queen Elizabeth II has dissolved Parliament (https://www.apocryphalpress.com/2019/03/29/queen-elizabeth-dissolves-parliament-issues-royal-proclamation-returning-the-uk-to-europe/).


Packwood is, among other things, a marvelous investigative reporter. Her mentor is our very own chief investigative reporter, associate solitary reporter Susanna Sherman. That’s why Packwood managed to overhear ultra-conservative Brexiteer Gerard Batten, a leader of the UK Independence Party, whisper to his close personal friend, Nigel Farage (who is a close personal friend of Donald Trump) “Now that we’ve forced Theresa to accept a Hard Brexit, the next thing we should do to preserve Fortress Britain is to blow up the Chunnel.”


They were referring, of course, to the 31 mile-long Channel Tunnel (Le Tunnel Sous La Manche), which links England to France.