Queen Elizabeth Dissolves Parliament, Issues Royal Proclamation Returning the UK to Europe

Today was supposed to be the day on which the United Kingdom was to leave the European Union.


On June 23, 2016, 17,410,742 Brits fell sway to ultra-nationalist nonsense at the instance of Nigel Farage and other xenophobes and voted to leave the European Union, after then PM David Cameron made a huge miscalculation.


Ever since then, PM Theresa May, who never was a Brexiteer, has been struggling to get Parliament to come to its senses and pass legislation on the basis of which the UK can leave the EU without doing irreparable damage to the nation that used to rule the waves.


Today, May’s third attempt for a halfway decent Brexit went down.


As soon as she heard the news, associate solitary reporter Danielle Packwood went to Buckingham Palace for an exclusive interview with Queen Elizabeth II. Packwood is a rising star in the Labour Party, which opposed Brexit. With Packwood was Labour Party Leader Jeremy Cornyn, who had never been in the Royal Presence before. 


As usual, the Queen’s purse was at her side.


“Your Majesty,” Packwood began, “You are my revered sovereign, and your Kingdom is in grave danger. Your subjects need you now more than ever. My Party begs you to take back the powers of the monarchy.”


The Queen smiled and conferred with her Lord Chamberlain, William James Robert Peel, 3rd Earl Peel, the most senior member of the Royal Household.


“‘Ma’am,” the Third Earl Peel began, “I perceive only one way out of the mess which Mrs. May is in. I advise that you take back the powers ceded by your revered father, King George VI, King Edward VIII, and King George V. You should dissolve Parliament and issue a Royal Decree.”


The Queen said, “Yes of course. My subjects’ purses are empty. This is the most unruly Parliament I have seen in all my ninety-two years."


Ecstatic, ASR Packwood and Cornyn drew up the Royal Proclamation, the Return to Europe Decree.


As Packwood and Cornyn left Buckingham Palace, eighteen million Brits shouted for joy, and European Council President Donald Franciszek Tusk wept for joy.