Why Melania Won't Help Devastated Mozambique

Tropical Cyclone Idai has devastated large portions of Mozambique and other nations in southeast Africa.


Melania wants her thirteen-year old son, Barron, to be happy, even though that is a very difficult undertaking, given who his father is.


She is gradually introducing Barron to the world of popular music, including the songs of Bob Dylan.


Melania knows that many of Dylan’s songs are protest songs, such as “Masters of War” and “Hurricane,” but then she discovered the delightful, happy “Mozambique,” on Dylan’s 1975 hit “Desire”  album, which also includes his iconic “Isis,” a satirical fantasy song which has nothing to do with the caliphate.


The lyrics of “Mozambique”: 


“I like to spend some time in Mozambique

The sunny sky is aqua blue

And all the couples dancing cheek to cheek

It’s very nice to stay a week or two

And maybe fall in love, just me and you”


“There’s lots of pretty girls in Mozambique

And plenty time for good romance

And everybody likes to stop and speak

To give the one you seek a chance

Or maybe say hello with just a glance”


So when Melania sang “Mozambique” to Barron this morning, she made sure not to tell him about Tropical Cyclone Idai.


When Mozambique’s President, Filipe Jacinto Nyusi, learned from associate solitary reporter and chief international correspondent Larrry Theis that Melania loves “Mozambique,” he immediately called her and begged her to give him at least half of her $50 million net worth for disaster recovery, but she brushed him off immediately, saying she had to get back to work on her jewelry business.