Trump Pardons Manafort After Reagan-Appointed Judge Gives Manafort A Really Light Sentence

For his high crimes, Paul Manafort got off real easy yesterday. In Alexandria, Senior U S District Court Judge T.S. Ellis III, a Reagan appointee, sentenced him to a mere 47 months. Prosecutors sat glum-faced in the courtroom because under normal sentencing guidelines, Manafort could have received a sentence of 19 to 24 years, but Judge Ellis seemingly felt sorry for him because Manafort has gout, as reported in yesterday's Times by Sharon LaFraniere. Another sentencing is scheduled next week for a series of addiitonal crimes, in the District of Columbia (which should be a State).


As soon as he heard of the sentence on Fox News (an organ of his administration), and as associate solitary reporter Johanna Jones watched, Donald Trump told Acting Chief of Staff Mick Mulvaney to have AG William Barr prepare a pardon for his former Campaign Chairman.


“But Sir,” ASR Jones said, “is that politically wise? What kind of message does that send to my African American brothers and sisters in state and federal prisons? And shouldn’t you have done that a whole lot earlier if you were gonna do it?”


For the fifteenth time, Trump threw Jones, petite and only 25, out the window of his Oval Office, where, as always, she was ministered to by associate solitary reporter Rev. Jim Bob Hobarto, winner of the Unitarian Universalist Association’s Distinguished Service Award for Pastoral Care, and ACLU Chief Staff Attorney and associate solitary reporter Keith Coleman.


Associate solitary reporter Melissa Smith, who covers Congress for us, immediately texted us, saying that Senate Majority Leader and perpetual gasbag Mitch “Triple Chin” McConnell (R-Kentucky) is under heavy pressure from his GOP Caucus to tell Trump to resign.