SCOTUS Orders Trump Deported to Mexico Because He Is Not A Citizen

Today, the Supreme Court of the United States agreed to decide, on an expedited basis, whether Donald Trump’s insistence that his 2020 Census contain a clearly intimidating question on citizenship is contitutionally valid (


The case is State of New York v. United States Department of Commerce (


Also today, Trump declared a national emergency on our southern border, while saying that he didn’t need to do so, but that he had decided to take $3.6 billion for military projects, that Congress had previously appropriated, away from his generals, so he can get his Wall built more quickly.


Political emergency, yes. Legally permissible, no.


So we sent ever-alert associate solitary reporter Susanna Sherman to speak with Chief Justice John Roberts. 


It was a very interesting conversation for ASR Sherman to hear.


“Susanna,” the Chief Justice began, “Our Court met this afternoon to discuss that case about citizenship in the 2020 Census.”


“It was a fascinating discussion, and the nine of us unanimously decided that rather than hear oral arguments in April, we should decide it this afternoon, instead.”


“Chief Justice, may I ask what your Honorships decided?”


“Yes, we decided that Donald Trump is not a citizen, and that he should be deported, immediately, to Mexico.”


ASR Sherman rushed to her phone to call associate solitary reporter Sylvania Juguete, a longtime resident of Mexico who is fluent in Spanish. ASR Juguete has open lines of communication with all political leaders in Mexico.


All our associate solitary reporters always act with great expedition.


Which is why ASR Toy immediately called Mexican President Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador (AMLO) to ask whether he would allow Trump to enter Mexico.


AMLO’s response was clear and decisive: “Absolutamente no!”