Judge at Stone's Arraignment Sends Him to Madame Tussauds

Ordinarily, high-profile criminal defendants do not smile as they are surrounded by paparazzi as they enter the courthouse for their arraignments.


Not so Roger Stone. He thrived on it, and smiled at everybody yesterday as he entered the U S District Court for the District of Columbia. Only thing missing in what associate solitary reporter Lewis Thompson saw on TV was that he refrained from making a huge V sign.


Thompson, of course, attended the arraignment. Magistrate Judge Deborah Robinson was very efficient, but Stone was totally flummoxed when he entered her courtroom and immediately saw that she is black.


ASR Thompson was the only reporter in the courtroom who saw and fully appreciated the judge’s next ruling.


“Mr. Stone,” she said, “you are one of the most flamboyant defendants I have ever seen in my courtroom, and I’ve been here since 1988.”


"When you’re not doing your victory laps for the cameras, in your still photos (and I’m not sure how the photogs managed to get you to sit still) you look like somebody straight out of Madame Tussauds."


“Yes, Your Honor," Stone replied. "That’s part of my complex agent provocateur persona. I thrive on being the biggest dirty trickster ever, and I learned how to do it by sitting at the feet of Richard Nixon. But I am an extremely handsome man, and my still photos bring that out.”


“Mr. Stone, I am granting your request to be released on bail, but you must report to Madame Tussauds in New York.”


“There, you will join many other celebrities, including the 44th president of the United States.”


Stone blanched.


“Your Honor, I am a lifelong Republican. Being waxed and placed anywhere near Obama would be cruel and unusual punishment.”


Realizing that he has no choice, Stone made an appointmnet to be seen at Madame Tussauds on Friday. In the interim, he plans to destroy as much evidence about his criminality as he can — even though the FBI grabbed everything they laid their eyes on when they did a predawn raid at his Ft. Lauderdalte home.


Judge Robinson also expressed concern that Stone, a notorious headline-grabber, would immediately go outside the courthouse and proclaim that Donald Trump has promised him a full and unconditional pardon.


As of press time, Stone was not forced to watch the 1953 3-D horror movie, The House of Wax, but Judge Robinson told ASR Thompson that she might impose that on Stone if he gets out of line.