Trump Taps Wilbur Ross As His Newest In A Long Line of Communication Directors

Hope Hicks had a great deal to do with the 2016 presidential election. She worked for Donald Trump’s everything for profit-business for years, and he trusted her, and he never fired her. She also worked for Ivanka.


Hicks, now 30, was a teen model, we’ve never investigated whether Trump included her in his Miss Universe pageant, but in December 2016, he created a new Whitie House position for her, "Director of Strategic Communications." How interesting that the word “strategic” got in there, as Trump’s only strategy all along has always been to inflict total chaos on our nation.


The portly Sean Spicer was Trump’s first Communications Director, and he lasted until July 2017, though after he was fired he roamed around the White House being chummy while all the staffers wondered what he was still doing there.


Then came oddly-named Michael Dubke, who lasted from March 2017 ’til early June, 2017.


Next came Anthony “The Mooch” Scaramucci , who lasted as Communications Director for a record six days. Scaramucci was even more conspicious in the Department of Outrageous Statements Department than Trump. It’s a wonder Trump didn’t keep him on.


After Hicks left Trump, his messaging (such as it was, because he has to be his own messenger) never recovered.


While she worked in Trump’s White House, Hicks enjoyed the company of disgraced former White House Staff Secretary Rob Porter, and before that, Corey Lewandowski enjoyed her intimate company while he was married to somebody else. Hicks will start working this year with Fox News (hey! why are we not surprised?) as their chief communications officer and exec v-p.


Trump’s current Communications guy is Bill Shine. Shine came straight from Fox News. If you work for Fox News, you work for Trump.


Trump’s octogenarian Commerce Secretary, Wilbur Ross, a billionaire, made headlines on Thursday by saying he didn’t understand why unpaid federal employees had to go to food banks ( He spun out some drivel about how they should apply for low-cost loans to tide them over. He’s taken the prize for being tone deaf. See Sen. Lisa Murkoowski (R-Alaksa) on this:


But since Ross and Trump both come from immense wealth, they understand each other, even though neither of them has the faintest idea what it’s like to be unpaid and poor. Ross is also well-known for padding around Capitol Hill in $600 embroidered slippers.


That’s why associate solitary reporter Johanna Jones was not surprised when Trump told her that he’s replacing Shine with Ross.


“Johanna,” Trump said, “Wilbur is the Voice of the Future. Wilbur understands finance almost as well as I do. So now I’m bringing Wilbur out of Commerce — where they keep hounding him about my prized citizenship question on the Census — and I’m bringing him in here with me.”


In the twinkle of an eye, associate solitary reporter Susanna Sherman was interviewing Ross, with special attention to his elaborate slipppers (his slippers are symbolic of his disdain for the undeserving poor). Ross said, “Susanna, I totally enjoy the excitement and constant stimulation of working for Mr. Trump, because I can say whatever I want about people on welfare, plus, everybody knows that all federal employees are useless and overpaid.”


“Mr. Trump is totally devoted to public service, but after he retires from public life, I think I’ll have a go at running for president, since I am the Voice of the Future. I’ll teach Nancy Pelosi a thing or two, since Mr. Trump has been having so much trouble with her."