Trump to Deliver State of the Union from Gitmo

Donald Trump still, someohw, thinks he has influence.


He wants to deliver his State of the Union address in the House of Representatives on January 29, but the security personnel responsible for getting him from his White House to Capitol Hill aren’t being paid.


House Speaker Nancy Pelosi is likely to rescind her previous invitation to him until Trump reopens the government which he shut down.


And even though his Department of Homeland Security says they’ve got him covered security-wise, White House officials are making plans for a possible SOTU delivery outside Washington (


Associate solitary reporer Johanna Jones just spoke with Trump’s acting chief of staff, Mick Mulvaney, to ask him where Trump will speak from.


“Johanna,” Mulvaney said, “I am swearing you to secrecy: you can’t tell anyone — but he'll be flying down to Gitmo on Monday under the tightest security that’s ever been arranged.”


“But Mick, why Gitmo?”


“That one’s easy, Johanna. Gitmo is the most heavily protected military installation anywhere in the world.”


“And, not only that, Mr. Trump’s gonna lob some really fine improvised explosive devices over the fence, at Raul Castro, while he’s there.”


“And you can be sure that the media is gonna cover that!”


Elsewhere, now that Michael Cohen has refused to testify before Congress on February 7 because he’s afraid of threats made against him and his family by Trump (, our chief Congressional reporter, associate solitary reporter Melissa Smith, tells us that Pelosi will invite Cohen to show up in her House on January 29 instead of Trump, and make an extensive statement under oath about everything he knows about Donald Trump.


Should be quite an evening. You can be sure that AP will cover it all.