Trump Reinvents "shellacking" By Buying Up All Shellac Manufacturers; Will Fire Mueller Tomorrow

When President Obama acknowledged that Democrats took a shellacking in the 2014 midterms, he was honest.


Yesterday, when Donald Trump lost the House, he claimed victory.


The three blue states that unexpectedly propelled him into his Oval Office — Wisconsin, Michigan, and Pennsylvania — all have Democratic governors, and they were all elected yesterday.


Which means that they will have a lot to say about Congressional redistricting as a result of Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross’ unconstiutitonal 2020 census.


Today, when African American reporter Yamiche Alcindor asked him at one of his rare press conferences about what it’s like to be a White Nationalist Commander-in-Chief, he made her sit down.


Now House Dems can subpoena his tax records if they want.


As he left the podium after insulting countless White House reporters, he told associate solitary reporter Johanna Jones that the Trump Organization has purchased all the rights to manufacturing shellac.


Just after he told her that, he fired Attorney General Jeff Sessions.


Always persistent, Jones asked him how soon he’ll fire Special Counsel Robert Mueller.


“Tomorrow,” he replied.