Why Melania Is Not In Cameroon, and Why Trump Is Not In Ottawa

Melania’s in Ghana. Without her husband — she’s trophy wife no. 3, and her husband's second SCOTUS pick, Brett Kavanaugh, is trying his best (but failing) to convince the American people that he’s a morally upright man. 


Donald Trump’s stewing in his oval office over the Kavanaugh mess. He clearly picked a baddie who, if confirmed by Mitch McConnell’s GOP Caucus, will do lasting harm to our judicial system.


Cameroon, a West African country Trump has no idea where it is, is in crisis, per NPR today. People in the English-speaking part of that very diverse nation are unhappy about what the French-speaking majority has been doing to them for quite some time now. The UN is concerned about the recurring armed conflict there.


So that’s why Melania’s not heading to Cameroon.


Melania, a slave to fashion, speaks Slovene, Serbo-Croatian, English, French, Italian, and German. Son Barron speaks English and Slovene. Trump speaks Trumpian, a new language laced with invective and lies. He’s the Liar-in-Chief. He thinks everybody in the United States should think the same way he does on the rare occasions when he’s thinking and not tweeting.


On January 11, 2018, Trump gleefully referred to African countries as sh—h_l_s, and Melania is sure to be asked about that while in Ghana.


On her trip to Ghana and Egypt, Melania is being accompanied by our newest associate solitary reporter, John Patterson, who was born in Liberia and, mercifully, managed to escape terror perpetrated by one of Liberia’s most infamous warlords.


Patterson, who, like Melania, is multi-lingual, just texted us saying that he would rather be with Melania than with Trump.


Meanwhile, Kavanaugh’s college classmate at Yale, Chad Ludington, says that he and Kavanaugh often drank together and that when Kavanaugh denied on Thursday that he had ever blacked out from drinking too much, Kavanaugh, according to Ludington, was clearly distorting the truth (https://www.cnn.com/2018/10/01/politics/yale-kavanaugh-drinking/index.html).


Trump pretends that he’s concerned about harm caused to American workers by restrictions which some countries such as China (and even Canada) have placed on trade with us. Yesterday, he crowed that he has reached a deal with Canada’s Justin Trudeau to revise NAFTA. That’s why Trump wishes he were in Ottawa right now for a photo-op with Trudeau, but he’s way too busy trying to prop up Kavanaugh.