Trump Found Stranded on the Great Pacific Plastic Garbage Patch

As the whole world watches, Donald Trump’s time in the White House is drawing closer and closer to implosion.


He has an unholy alliance with the climate change deniers. He’s hellbent on making our air dirtier and dirtier because he sucked up to the coal lobby. He’s turned the EPA around 180 degrees. Just about everything that President Obama did, he wants to undo.


He’s virtually perfected the Art of the Lie. No wonder his lawyers won’t let him sit down for an interview under oath by Special Counsel Robert Mueller.


With the publication today of veteran journalist Bob Woodward’s book, Fear: Trump in the White House, and with the Times’ publication last week of a White House mole’s anonymous op-ed piece, Trump really doesn’t have any place to go except to Mar-a-Lago or Bedminister or wherever he has a golf course where it’s not needed.


Early this morning, associate solitary reporter Johanna Jones, who is with Trump all the time, was startled to wake up a mere ten feet away from him, as the 239 pound man with a fake orange squirrel on top of his head sat atop one of the numerous mountains of plastic in the Great Pacific Garbage Patch.


“”Sir,” Jones asked, “what are you doing there, and are you safe?”


“Dammit, Johanna, get lost! Go back to Tom Perez at the DNC and tell him to give you a job in the secretarial pool!”


“How did you get here, Sir?”


“All you tree-hugging environmentalists, all you phony liberals, and Woodward, and Omarosa, all you wanna do is make me look bad. And that’s not only illegal, it’s unconstitutional!”


“Sir, have you ever read the Constitution?”


Jones, who is only 25, has much better eyesight than Trump. As she stared at the horizon, she noticed Air Force One far away in the distance, but it came closer and closer to them. But as the pilot spotted them, and without Trump even noticing it, it veered away and returned to Travis Air Force Base in California. As the crew deplaned, they all, to a woman and a man, caught a commuter plane to Sacramento, where they met with Gov. Jerry Brown to sign up to volunteer for his highly touted efforts to lessen the impact of climate change.