Perez Taps Strzok As His Deputy

We here at AP are frequently perplexed as to what stories we should follow.


Donald Trump is, as usual, making a fool of himself in Europe, upending the NATO alliance that has, for decades, protected the West from Russian aggression.


And here in the good ol’ USA, the GOPs in the House convened not one, but two, committees, in a feeble attempt to grill Peter Strzok, the FBI agent they love to hate.


Strzok was tasked with investigating Hillary Clinton’s emails. He texted his mistress and fellow FBI agent, Lisa Page, saying how important it was to stop Donald Trump.


This morning, associate solitary reporter Melissa Smith attended the House GOP’s attempted witchhunt show against Strzok. This took place at a joint hearing before both the House Judiciary Committee and the House Oversight Committee. If Judiciary Chairman Bob Goodlatte (R-Virginia) and Oversight Committee Chairman Trey Gowdy (R-South Carolina) had been smoking Only in Colorado joints, they would’ve been better off and more coherent.


In the hearing, Strzok sought to explain his texts. He described his personal feelings about Trump when, during his meritless campaign in 2016, he attacked Gold Star family Ghazala and Khirzr Khan. Their son, Captain Humayun Khan, was killed in 2004 during Bush Two’s ill-conceived Iraq War.


Strozek continued, saying, “My presumption, based on that horrible, disgusting behavior, [was] that the American population would not elect somebody demonstrating that behavior to be President of the United States” (


ASR Smith couldn’t contain herself. As soon as she heard Strzok say that, she applauded, along with everyone else in the hearing room, and was forcibly removed from the hearing room.


DNC Chairman Tom Perez was watching the hearing on CNN. As soon as the hearing was concluded, he called Strzok and said, “Peter, you can’t possibly be happy working in Sessions’ Justice Department. Keith Ellison, my Deputy, isn’t running for re-eleciton in Minnesota’s Fifth Congressional District, so he can run for Attorney General of Minnesota. Come and work for me as my Deputy.”


As ASR Smith watched, Strzok accepted on the spot.


Happy Days Are Here Again!