Melania Gives Pep Talk to Border Control Agents Who Separate Refugee Children from their Mothers; Sessions' Pastor Gives Him Stern Rebuke

Because of the demands of covering the consequences of the 2016 election, Apocryphal Press keeps hiring more and more associate solitary reporters.


Our chief religion correspondent and longtime associate solitary reporter, Rev. Jim Bob Hobarto, just hired Rev. Ned Rushton to cover one of Donald Trump’s most favorite activities: separating young children from their parents at our southern border.


Rushton, who has a megachurch in Mesa, Arizona, was particularly interested in observing how the Border Patrol carries out Trump’s Doctrine of inflicting maximum cruelty on desperate parents, and their young children, as they try to come to the land of the free and the home of the brave.


Trump, who doesn’t give a hoot about much of anything except feeding his own ego and receiving the adulation of his close personal friends Kim Jong-un and Vladimir Putin and, of course, his base, likes to watch TV coverage of the extreme distress of mothers and children as they are separated at the border. 


As Rushton, with great sadness, criticized dozens of Border Patrol agents as they pulled small children from Central America away from their mothers, who should walk in to admonish him but the third Mrs. Trump.


“Don’t you see that you are interfering with God’s work?” Melania demanded.


You can hardly blame Melania for following recent comments made by Trump’s Attorney General, Jeff Sessions.


In a recent speech, Sessions said that Romans 13 justifies his harsh treatment of Central American refugees.


In Romans 13:1-2, the Apostle Paul says: “Let every person be subject to the governing authorities; for there is no authority except from God, and those authorities that exist have been instituted by God. Therefore whoever resists authority resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgment."


Sessions is a Sunday school teacher at Ashland Place United Methodist Church in Mobile.


The motto of Ashland Place United Methodist Church is “Open Heats. Open Minds. Open Doors.”


So Rev. Rushton asked Ashland Place’s senior pastor, Rev. Dr. Sterling Boykin, whether Sessions’ treatment of refugees at the border is consistent with his church’s motto.


“Ned,” Boykin said, “No, not at all. We’re going to have to excommunicate brother Sessions and send him to the Southern Baptists. He’ll be a lot more comfortable there."


Back at the border, the Border Patrol agents rallied in force to give Melania a standing ovation before she briskly stepped into an Army helicopter for the trip back to the White House.