Giuliani Shoots Comey

As Hillary said during her second presidential campaign, Donald Trump is extremely thin-skinned (vainglorious, too).


During one of their debates, he moved behind her in a very menacing fashion. That’s because the man has no manners.


And no ethics, either.


During the unlikeliest (as well as the most pernicious in recent memory) campaign for the White House, Trump boasted that he could shoot someone on Fifth Avenue and no one would mind.


Must be part of his truthful hyperbole.


Trump can’t keep any halfway decent lawyers.


His most recent one is former presidential candidate and fellow New Yorker Rudy Giuliani, who wanted Trump to name him as his Attorney General (and, no doubt, Trump wishes he had).


Several of Trump’s recent lawyers quit because they were smart enough to get out while the getting was good.


Giuliani is almost as grandiose as Trump, and, like Trump, he loves to mouth off. He told the HuffPost that Trump could’ve shot FBI Director James Comey instead of firing him, and he would promptly be impeached, but that he could not have been prosecuted for the murder while still sitting in the Oval Office — presumably because he’s too busy applauding the coming breakup of the European Union and badly damaging our historic friendship and alliance with Canada (,.


Rudy also insists the firing of Comey is not an impeachable offense.


Seems the people who didn’t vote for him might like to weigh in, yes?


We here at AP have an extraordinary corps of dedicated associate solitary reporters. Many of them are also crack undercover detectives. This includes associate solitary reporter John Leopold, who lives near fired FBI Director James Comey in Alexandria, Virginia.


As Leopold took his daily walk past Comey’s house, he heard shots ring out. Giuliani ran out of Comey’s house with a smoking gun.


When Leopold asked Giuliani what he was doing with the smoking gun, Giuliani, a former New York mayor who considers himself smarter than his client (but that doesn’t take much, does it?) said, “Get out of my way, you damn Democrat fool!”


Comey was taken to Inova Alexandria Hospital and is now resting uncomfortably in the Critical Care Unit. 


There, Comey was visited by associate solitary reporter Jim Bob Hobarto, who has spent his entire ministerial career as a hospital chaplain. Hobarto was accompanied by associate solitary reporter Lewis Thompson III, the Moderator of the Unitarian Universalist Association. 


“Jim Bob,” Comey said, “thanks for your visit. I appreciate it. I always appreciate that lovely Southern drawl" (Hobarto grew up in the shadow of the Boll Weevil Monument in Enterprise, Alabama).


Hobarto and Thompson had interrupted a visit to Comey from the Alexandria Police Department and the FBI.


Thus, Hobarto and Thompson were privy to what Comey told them.


Hobarto, who knows everybody in the Virginia suburbs of Washington, and Thompson, a one-time Congressional candidate from the Virginia suburbs of Washington, told the FBI and the police that his (Hobarto’s) extensive social network includes Leopold, a retired federal attorney.


“Why don’t you talk to my close personal friend John Leopold?” Hobarto said.


The FBI is closely watching Washington National Airport, Dulles International airport, and all train stations, looking for Giuliani.


The FBI knows that Trump is the biggest liar ever to sit in the Oval Office, so they know that he has no credibility whatsoever. Not even worth talking to.


Meanwhile, Trump phoned Singapore’s president, 李显龙 (Lee Hsien Loong) and told him to hurry up and tell his Minister of Social and Family Development, Desmond Lee, to finish building the low-class homeless shelter which he is building to accommodate Kim Jong-un (