Always ready to stir the pot, especially when he is in deep political and personal trouble, Donald Trump went to Dallas yesterday to bask in the adulation of the members of the National Rifle Association.
With him was his number two, former conservative Indiana radio talk show host Mike Pence.
It cost a lot more than $130,000 in taxpayer funds to get the two of them there.
Always striving to please his boss, Pence, closely observed by associate solitary reporter Jim Bob Hobarto, told the attendees that God wants everybody, even including women except for Stormy Daniels, to have assault weapons, unconcealed.
But when it came his turn to speak, Trump was seized with an irresistible impulse.
Standing at his right side was the NRA’s Top Gun, Wayne LaPierre.
On his left side was Pence.
“Both these guys are absolutely fantastic, believe me," Trump yelled, and Pence had never felt better about himself — but something bothered him ever so slightly when Trump used the word “both.”
“Especially Mikey here,” Trump continued, and Pence felt better.
“But Wayne is the man I need with me going forward!”
Only slightly surprised, LaPierre smiled awkwardly.
“I have so many enemies all around me in Washington,” Trump continued, “and I totally need Wayne’s firepower now to get me through this witch hunt.”
The crowd sensed that there was a big moment coming.
“The Democrats have made Washington’s Swamp so much worse, and I know how much Mike loves Indiana. He’ll be ever so much happier there when he goes back to his radio show.”
Then, grasping LaPierre’s right hand, Trump proclaimed, “From this moment forward, Wayne LaPierre is my vice president!"
The bromance continued to thunderous applause, as Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas came onto the stage to administer the oath of office to LaPierre, who had never been happier, and Thomas loved every moment as well.
"Happy Cinco de Mayo, everybody!" Thomas exclaimed.
Hobarto, who has seen a very great deal in his short life, fell over in amazement, and had to be revived by associate solitary reporter Johanna Jones.