Exclusive Report on Trump's Private Meeting With Saudi Crown Prince: Trump Gives Mohammed bin Salman Stormy Daniels and Karen McDougal for His Harem

Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman (محمد بن سلمان بن عبدالعزيز آل سعود‎) is only 32, and Son-in-Law-in-Chief Jared Kushner — who successfully cultivated Salman during his father-in-law’s sumptuous reception in Riyadh last year — is only 37.


Yesterday, MBS, as the Crown Prince is known, met with Donald Trump, a dirty old man who is 71 and still very lusty, in the White House.


Associate solitary reporter Johanna Jones attended their meeting.


Always needing to be in full control, Trump began their conversation, which lasted for only five minutes, for the photo op.


“Keep up the pressure on those damnable rebels in Yemen, because they are just proxies for Iran.”


“Sir,” the Crown Prince replied. “I fully intend to do that, but I will need at least a doubling of your military support.”


Glancing at Kushner, but not at Jones, Trump said, “No problem there.”


“But I need your help with something.”


“What’s that, Sir?"


“Since I have given you so much military aid, especially with my warplanes, I want you to take out Robert Mueller. We’ll give you all the coordinates you need, because we always know exactly where he is.”


MBS replied eagerly. “Sir, because of the lasting friendship between our two countries — a friendship which Dick Cheney did a brilliant job of nurturing and expanding -- we can easily do that for you, especially since Jared and I are such close personal friends.”


“I have been reading a great deal, with considerable interest, Sir, about all the women in your life.”


“You have had three trophy wives, and you have had many other very fun relationships with beautiful, sexy women that you have not been married to.”


Trump began to experience a small amount of anxiety at this, but, impetuous as he always is, he responded quickly.


“Since I am doubling, or maybe even tripling, our military support for your kingdom, how about doing me a favor? I’ll throw in Stormy Daniels and Karen McDougal as part of the deal. Take them with you, keep them there for the rest of their lives, keep them from saying anything to reporters about how much I enjoyed having sex with them, and make them part of your harem. But I have to warn you, they’re both very expensive.”


“Sir," MBS replied, immediately, “with all my oil wealth, that’s no problem at all. They’re both really sexy women, we have no #Me Too movement in our Kingdom, and so far, I have only one wife."