Trump's Thinking About Giving Hawaii to Xi Jinping

While Donald Trump’s fat ass was on one of his numerous exclusive private golf courses, residents of Hawaii, and its numerous tourists, learned that the Aloha State’s emergency warning system didn’t work.


Initially, the system said that a missile attack was about to strike, sending residents and tourists into panic mode and shelters.


38 minutes later, the alert was canceled. Gov. David Ige and all four members of Hawaii’s congressional delegation — all good

Democrats — notified their constituents that it was human error.


With Donald Trump as he left his Mar-a-Lago golf course was associate solitary reporter Johanna Jones. “Johanna,” Trump said, “I don’t give a crap about Hawaii, ‘cause it’s a friggin’ blue state, with an Okinawan American Democrat for a governor, two Democrats for senators, and a Samoan-Hindu Congresswoman and a Japanese American Congresswoman, and both those dames are Dems.”


“Sir,” Jones asked, "at one time you were a Democrat, and now you are a Republican.”


“Shuttup Johanna! I am what I am.”


“So if Xi Jinpin wants it, I’m perfectly willing to work out a deal with him.”


“Sir,” Jones asked, “why don’t you like Hawaii?”


“What kind of journalism school did you go to? That’s where Obama claims he was born, but I’ll never believe it.”


For his part, Gov. Ige said that if Trump were to visit his state, “I would make sure to have a shithole ready for him.”


In Beijing, a spokesman for Xi told associate solitary reporter Gao Tang-ma that President Xi would only consider taking over Hawaii if Trump will quit bugging him about North Korea.