Kim Jong-un Grants Mugabe Political Asylum

93-year old Robert Mugabe, who has ruled Zimbabwe for nearly 40 years, is under house arrest, but his country’s military denies that it’s a coup (go figure!).


Associate solitary reporter Ko Il-sun, who is based in Seoul, has received highly sensitive information from his secret sources in North Korea, namely, that Kim Jong-un has granted Mugabe political asylum.


ASR Ko has read the tea leaves and has hypothesized what Kim, 35, said to Mugabe upon his arrival in Pyongyang.


“This is dictatorial courtesy,” Kim said. “I have for many years admired how you liberated your country from the British and then became its very successful dictator.”


“Because I admire you so much, I am doing for you something my country has never done before: I am granting you political asylum."


Mugabe was then whisked to an undisclosed location for his safety, but Ko conjectures that Mugabe will be housed immediately adjacent to the Yongbyon Nuclear Scientific Research Center (North Korea’s major nuclear facility) in Nyongbyon County, about 90 kilometers north of Pyongyang.


Ko tells us that Mugabe’s wife, Grace, 52, is “most likely” still in Harare, trying to seize power from the military.


“Kim Jong-un has a very dim view of women leaders,” Ko said in his latest post.