Trump Adds Stephen Curry and Von Miller to His Travel Ban, Praises Alternative for Germany Party

THE TRUMP ORGANIZATION, 1600 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE — Associate solitary reporter Johanna Jones was with Donald Trump yesterday when he expanded his travel ban to include North Koreans. Foaming at the mouth, he also singled out Golden State Warriors superstar Stephen Curry, whom he had just disinvited to the White House after Curry criticized him for dissing NFL players who take a knee rather than stand during the playing of the National Anthem.


“Stephen Curry is no true warrior,” Trump yelled, “and his coach, Steve Kerr, should fire him, and I’m putting him and all his NBA teammates on my travel ban."


Trump also added Denver Broncos outside linebacker Von Miller to his ban after Miller took a knee yesterday in Buffalo before the Broncos played the Buffalo Bills.


And strangest of all, the New England Patriots’ star quarterback, Tom Brady, one of Trump’s few remaining friends, said that Trump’s comments about NFL players’ protests are divisive.


Trump then tweeted that Germany’s Neo-Nazi Alternative for Germany Party, which made a strong showing in yesterday’s election, coming in second to Chancellor Angela Merkel’s Christian Democrats, gives him “a profound sense of hope.”