Trump Sends Price to Pyongyang to Violate His Hippocratic Oath

THE TRUMP ORGANIZATION, 1600 PENNSYLVANIA AVE — Dr. Tom Price is an orthopedic surgeon who represented Georgia’s 6th Congressional District before Donald Trump asked him to be his loudmouth for the Department of Health and Human Services. In February, the Senate Health, Education, Labor, and Pensions Committee approved his nomination, 11-0, with all Democrats boycotting the vote. When the nomination went to the floor of Mitch McConnell’s Senate, he only received 52 votes for confirmation — guess how many Democratic senators voted for him?


Dissatisfied with the furor caused by Price's billing the taxpayers for flying all over the country in private jets to campaign against the Affordable Care Act, Trump told him, “Tom, now look what you’ve done to me! Nobody is allowed to embarrass me, and you’ve done that in spades!” Associate solitary reporters Johanna Jones and Melissa Smith were with Trump and Price during this conversation.


“For God’s sake, Tom, use Betsy DeVos’ private jet! She at least doesn’t bill the taxpayers when she flies all around the country undoing Obama’s rules on sexual assaults on college campuses!”


“Know what I’m gonna do to you, Tom? I’m sending you to Pyongyang to violate your oath as a physician: I’m sending you to Pyongyang in one of Betsy’s private planes to take out Rocket Man!”


“I know it’s asking a lot, Tom, but all you have to do is watch that fantastic movie, The Interview — you know, with Seth Rogen and James Franco — that’s all the preparation you need, and I’m sending thousands of our brave soldiers across the DMZ just as you arrive in Pyongyang.”


“Are you up to it, Tom?”


“Mr. President, I’ll do anything for you, you know that.”


"And while you’re there, go up to Kim Jongun’s Yongbyo nuclear site, not far from China and the Yalu River, and find out for me whether the earthquake up there did any damage to Rocket Man’s nukes."


Price leaves tomorrow at the crack of dawn.