The Twitterer-in-Chief Outdoes Himself; How Christie Could Have Been Photographed On the State Park Beach That He Had Ordered Closed

The Twitterer-in-Chief has outdone himself.


After revising and retweeting an old video showing himself wrestling a nameless man with the CNN logo on his face, and after antagonizing leading GOP senators such as South Carolina's Lindsey Graham and Nebraska’s Ben Sasse, the current occupant of the White House is now saying that “Fake News will be forced to discuss” his non-existent White House accomplishments.


Associate solitary reporter Johanna Jones, who is even more beautiful than Halle Berry, was sitting on Donald Trump’s lap as he was tweeting today’s missive. It reads: “Everybody at CNN is on opioids, and I don’t give a diddlycrap about any of ‘em.”


Elsewhere, all the voters in New Jersey are grateful that when their governor, the everfat Chris Christie, was photographed sunning himself with his family on Island Beach State Park, which he had ordered closed because he can’t get along with his legislature, the governor had a swimsuit on, even though he could have been in the altogether.