Trump Tells Erdogan To Come Get Gulen in Pennsylvania

Yesterday, Donald Trump interrupted his Easter Egg Hunt on the lawn of the White House to call Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan to congratulate him on his electoral success in rewriting the Turkish Constitution to give himself a lot more power. Associate solitary reporter Johanna Jones listened in on their conversation.


“I appreciate that,” Erdogan said, “but if you want to be my friend, you need to send the traitor, Mohammed Fethullah Gulen, to me. He lives in Pennsylvania and he instigated the military coup against me last year. Obama said he could stay in Pennsylvania for as long as he wanted.”


Trump’s reply was swift. “Of course you can have him, but you have to come here to get him. I am getting a lot of pushback here because I make the Secret Service spend a lot of taxpayers’ money protecting me and my large family. So you have to come here to get him, I’m not sending him to you.” 


Trump added, “I am envious of you, because you now have a lot more power than I have. You don’t have to worry about pesky judges invalidating your actions."


At last report, Erdogan was headed to Philadelphia. It was unclear as to whether he would make a side trip to the White House to give Trump a political lesson or two.


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