On Holy Thursday, Trump Refuses To Wash Presbyterian Moderator's Feet

THE TRUMP ORGANIZATION, 1600 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE NW, DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA — Yesterday was Holy Thursday, and millions of Christians around the world, and even in the United States, observed Maunday Thursday. Maunday Thursday, also known as Holy Thursday, is based on Jesus’ command in John 13: 14-17 that his disciples must wash each other’s feet the day before his crucifixion (he knew what was coming, though his disciples didn’t). Maundy comes from mandatum, the Latin word for command. This liturgical ritual of cleansing and mutual submission is practiced in many Christian denominations, including Anglican, Lutheran, Methodist, Presbyterian, and Catholic.


Donald Trump claims to be a Presbyterian. His mother was raised as a Presbyterian in Scotland, and his parents were married in a Presbyterian Church in Manhattan. As a child, he attended Sunday School at the First Presbyterian Church In Jamaica, Queens, and was confirmed in the Christian faith there.


Associate solitary reporter Johanna Jones was intent yesterday to know whether purported Presbyterian Trump washed anybody else’s feet on Maundy Thursday. Being skeptical of his sincerity, she was astonished to discover him in his all too private quarters with the Co-Moderators of the Presbyterian Church in the United States, The Rev. Denise Anderson and the Rev. Jan Edmiston. Jones was even more surprised to see that Trump’s chief strategist, Steve Bannon, was with them.


Rev. Anderson is African American, and Rev. Edmiston is European American.


As Rev. Anderson gently removed Trump’s shoes and socks, Bannon yelled “Sir, do you really want a black woman that close to you?”


“Steve, take it easy.”


As she washed Trump’s feet, Rev. Anderson quietly asked him whether he considers himself to be a man of peace.


“Damn straight! I killed 36 ISIS fighters in Afghanistan yesterday with a beautiful magabomb! Of course I’m a man of peace!”


It was now Trump’s turn to wash Anderson’s feet.


“Sir! Don’t do it!” Bannon yelled.


Rev. Anderson and Rev. Edmiston were escorted out of the White House by the Secret Service without completing the ritual.


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Comments: 1
  • #1

    Cora Brown (Friday, 28 April 2017 15:44)

    This serves to confirm receipt of this article at the Presbyterian Center in Louisville. Also, to advise it was shared with the Co-Moderators, Rev. Anderson and Rev. Edmiston.

    Cora Brown, Manager of Administration
    Office of the General Assembly