Trump Flees From Ecumenical Service At Small Presbyterian Church In Denver

As Donald Trump ponders when to launch his nukes at Kim Jongun, he dropped in unexpectedly at a small Presbyereran church in Denver where an ecumenical service was being held yesterday.


Capitol Heights Presbyterian Church is part of Capitol Heights Faith Community, which includes The 10:30 Catholic Community, Dignity Denver, and Capitol Heights Presbyterian Church. All are housed in a 1911 building in the Congress Park area of the Mile High City.


Yesterday’s ecumenical service included all three groups, and your solitary reporter, a member of Capitol Heights Presbyterian Church, was in attendance.


Nobody expected Trump to attend, but there he was with Iraqi Prime Minister Haider al-Abadi. Prime Minister al-Abadi was there because he wanted to thank Trump personally for lifting his travel ban on people seeking to travel from Iraq to the United States, the land of the free and the home of the brave. Trump actually lifted the ban on Iraqi travel today, but he called al-Abadi yesterday to tell him that he was going to do something sensible for a change.


Trump claims to be a Presbyterian, and your solitary reporter was just as surprised as anybody attending the ecumenical service to see him there.


Trump has said that he participates in Holy Communion. Beyond that, he has not asked God for forgiveness, stating: "I think if I do something wrong, I just try and make it right. I don't bring God into that picture."


Trump interrupted the superb sermon by loudly telling the assembled throng that the only reason he came to Denver was to talk to John Elway, the general manager of the Denver Broncos, because the Denver Post’s Nicki Jhabvala had written an article in yesterday’s Post, “Elway has money to burn: Who will Broncos sign in free agency?”). So Trump said, “I just wanted to talk to Elway about his draft picks at the meat market. If Elway wants me to put a casino in his Mile High Stadium, I’ll gladly make a deal with him if I get more out of the deal than he does.”


Although the minister leading the service offered holy communion to the unholy Trump, the congregation was, by then, not only perplexed but frightened by his presence among them. And Trump, quickly realizing that he was not at Marble Collegiate Church in Manhattan, where he married the first Mrs. Donald Trump, beat a hasty retreat, accompanied by his Chief Sycophant, Kellyanne Conway. Prime Minister al-Abadi left the church through a separate entrance.


Trump’s Chief of Staff, former Wisconsin political operative Reince Priebus, was quite relieved when Trump returned to the District of Columbia. “Sir,” Priebus told Trump, “we have a few things we need to talk about."


Write a comment

Comments: 0