Trump Solves California Dam Problem

THE TRUMP ORGANIZATION, 1600 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE — At their joint news conference today, Donald Trump and Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau answered a few questions from carefully selected reporters. The Canadian reporters asked that the Prime Minister respond in both French and English, so associate solitary reporter Gary Zeman served as translator for Trump, whose only language is self-aggrandizement.


When Trump was asked by trembling reporters what he’s doing about the possible imminent collapse of the nation’s highest dam in Oroville, California, his response was succinct: “California voted for Hillary. Tough cookies for California.”


Trump, looking throughout the press conference like a man in a strait jacket, was asked about the deportations taking place to fulfill his campaign promises of deporting dangerous criminals who aren’t supposed to be here. “Couldn’t you take those illegals and put them to work on that spillway at the Oroville Dam?”


“Good idea,” Trump said, “as long as they drown in the spillway if they don’t fix it."

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