National Security Council To Be Renamed

Donald Trump insists on having a boring presidency.


“Everybody, especially the media, loves me,” Trump explained moments ago to associate solitary reporter Johanna Jones. “And since I am so incredibly popular, and since Steve Bannon tells me I can do whatever I want, I’m putting him on my National Security Council.”


The National Security Council is the principal forum used by the president for consideration of national security and foreign policy matters. In the past, the Director of National Intelligence and the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff have always attended the meetings of the NSC.


Over the weekend, Trump reorganized the National Security Council. Henceforth, the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff and the Director of National Intelligence will no longer be routinely attending the meetings of the NSC, but Banning will always be sitting there as Trump has his little hands on the nuclear trigger. 


Associate solitary reporter Maggie Smith, who covers Congress for us, has just informed us that, in response to Trump’s instant reshaping of the NSC, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi has instructed House Democrats to submit proposed legislation to change the name of the National Security Council to the National Insecurity Council. As of press time, the legislation has 200 Republican cosponsors, and is thus sure to pass, but Trump is poised to veto it, only to be overridden by the representatives of the people.


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