RNC HEADQUARTERS, TRUMP TOWER — Immediately after Donald Trump's cadre of sycophants, led by son-in-law Jared Kushner, summarized for him President Obama’s magnificent farewell address, we received a call from associate solitary reporter Johanna Jones, who was with the president-elect as he sent out a typically polite tweet.
“Worst speech ever. Anybody who gets his followers riled up about what they can do to promote democracy is a demagogue,” the tweet read.
Jones also tells us that the president-elect is insisting that McConnell, Ryan & Company fund a secret operation in the White House, to be known under the highly secret code name Operation Fake News. OFN’s primary responsibility will be to label as fake news (such as the fact that Vladimir Putin and his cyberspies interfered, not only in our just concluded election, but in the elections of other nations), any fact which the mega-billionaire doesn’t like.
In Charleston, SC, David Duke, the King of Hate, led a protest outside the federal courthouse where the jury in the Dylann Roof hate crimes case sentenced him to death for murdering twelve African Americans during a Bible Study. Duke yelled that the jury should have recommended to Judge Richard Gergel that Roof be sent to Syria to fight ISIS.
Associate solitary reporter Clarinda Jameson was at the courthouse as Duke spoke.