Trump Explains His Choices for EPA and SBA

RNC HEADQUARTERS, TRUMP TOWER — Associate solitary reporter Johanna Jones was with president-elect Donald Trump yesterday when he met with his choice for Administrator of the Environmental Protection Agency, Oklahoma Attorney General Scott Pruitt.


Pruitt, well-known as a close ally of the petroleum industry, has sued the EPA at virtually every opportunity. All environmental groups are fiercely opposed to the nomination.


During their meeting, as reported to us by Jones, Pruitt told Trump that he could not fathom why Trump, who has called climate change a hoax perpetrated by China, met with former Vice President Al Gore last week. Gore famously and bravely was one of the leaders of the movement to prevent our planet from burning up even faster than it is already, and in his documentary, An Inconvenient Truth, he told it like it is. Gore had only anticipated meeting with Ivanka Trump, who pretends to be interested in climate change, and was surprised to be meeting with the president-elect himself.


“Sir,” Pruitt began, “with all due respect, why would you even consider meeting with Al Gore?”


“Scott, that’s easy. Gore has been out of the limelight for a long time. I just wanted him to feel good. It was just for show.”


Then Trump and Pruitt posed for the cameras as the 45th president-to-be said, unequivocally, “There is no such thing as climate change. Scott Pruitt is the perfect man to help me make America great again.”


In other developments, Trump said that he is putting the wrestling woman from Connecticut, Linda McMahon, in charge of the Small Business Administration so she can wrestle every Democrat in Washington to the ground.


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