RNC HEADQUARTERS, 26TH FLOOR, TRUMP TOWER – Determined, as always, to upend everything Barack Obama has ever done as president, Donald Trump has chosen retired Lieut. Gen. Michael Flynn, a nominal Democrat, to be his National Security Advisor.
Flynn, who was on Trump’s short list for VP, used to work in the Pentagon for President Obama as his Director of Defense Intelligence, but Obama fired him in 2014 for failure to follow the president’s clearly stated policies. Flynn, one of Trump’s better-known sycophants, has been on a kick recently, yelling that Islam is nothing but a political ideology and that most Muslims are terrorists.
National security experts find Flynn’s appointment scary because of his bellicose views about Islam, and because Flynn sat at a table at a gala dinner with Vladimir Putin on behalf of RT, a state-controlled English-language propaganda network.
On rare occasions, we consult associate solitary reporter Felicia Hays, who is an expert on conspiracy theories. She tells us that it was Vladimir Putin's RT which provided the highly sophisticated technology which infiltrated the Wisconsin Elections Commission and threw the Badger State’s 10 Electoral College votes to Trump. Before November 8, Wisconsin had not voted for a Republican for president since 1984.
Interviewed by associate solitary reporter Johanna Jones, Flynn, speaking on deep background, admitted that Wisconsin, traditionally a blue state, would have voted for Hillary Clinton in 2016 if Putin’s minions had not hacked into the Wisconsin Elections Commission’s database.
Flynn also told Jones that Trump picked him to replace Obama’s National Security Advisor, Susan Rice, because she is black and he is white.