RNC HEADQUARTERS, TRUMP TOWER — Sen. Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III (R-Alabama), the first senator to endorse Donald Trump for president because of his slavish admiration of Trump’s $55 billion wall, will be Trump’s choice for either Secretary of Defense or Secretary of Homeland Security.
Sessions — whose official photo makes associate solitary reporter Jeanne Smith think of a boy happy about having just lost his
virginity — chairs the Senate Armed Services Subcommittee on Strategic Forces, which has jurisdiction over strategic forces, nuclear weapons, national defense and nuclear deterrence, space programs, and ballistic missile defense.
In an exclusive interview with Smith, the junior senator from the Heart of Dixie State said, “I’d ruther have Defense so Ah can train mah nukes on all those smelly wetbacks who keep runnin' drugs into California and Arizona, but if mah president wants me at Homeland Security, then I can go down to John McCain’s Arizona and catch those same wetbacks, and welcome them with tasers and electric cattle prods before I throw them back to Mexico over mah president’s Wall.”
Trump’s Chief of Staff, Reince Priebus, confirmed that Sessions will be nominated for Secretary of Defense.
Former Big Apple mayor Rudy Giuliani is still in the running for Homeland Security.
After Trump chose well-known anti-Semite Stephen Bannon as his Chief Strategist, the American Israel Public Affairs Committee (AIPAC), which clearly wants to preserve its influence over the Trump Administration’s Middle East politicies, has declined to criticize the Alt-right leader. AIPAC is well known for being one of the most powerful lobbying groups in Washington.
In Washington, Congressman Tim Ryan (D-Ohio) is mounting a challenge against House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi. Ryan hails from the kind of working-class Rust Bell district in which the Dems got trounced a week ago. Ryan is 43 while Pelosi is 76. “We need a more youthful bench,” Ryan explained to associate solitary reporter Paula Martin.