THE OVAL OFFICE — Almost all the time, the Media, which Donald Trump despises (yesterday, he tweeted that the mounting protests against his election were incited by the Media), fails to report what happens in today’s world.
Which is why you are reading this satirical newspaper.
When Pres.-elect Trump — who is not, by any means at all, a veteran politician, having never, until Tuesday, been elected to any public
office — met yesterday here with our 44th president, he didn’t waste any time.
Trump, who infamously made patently false claims in 2011 that Barack Hussein Obama Jr. was not born in the United States, kicked the president in the cojones. This resulted in the president being taken immediately to the nearest hospital, George Washington University Medical Center. Shortly afterward, White House Press Secretary Josh Earnest told the shocked reporters in the White House press room that the president’s cojones are “better than ever.” Associate solitary reporter Johanna Jones was present during this boring event.
Then Trump made his way to the Capitol, where House Speaker Paul Ryan escorted the mega-billionaire to the west steps of the Capitol, where workers are already preparing the infrastructure for the 45th president's inauguration. With the president-elect and Ryan were Trump's wife, Melania, and his youngest son, Barron, who is 10.
Never one to appear shy when TV cameras are present, Trump announced that he expects Hollywood to accept Barron as a child actor (Barron did not get his good looks from his father).
Melania, however, swiftly demurred.
This immediately engendered severe and substantial marital conflict between husband and wife.
But associate solitary reporter Jeanne Smith, who will be covering the Capitol for the next 4+ years, immediately stepped in in her role as a pastoral counselor. “But Mr. Vice-President-elect, Sir,” Smith said, “don’t you want him to be president someday? After Donald Trump Junior becomes president?”
“You know, I got to admit, you got a point there.”
Mrs. Trump smiled.
Then Trump told Smith to tell Obama that on January 21, he will issue an executive order rescinding Executive Order 11246, Pres. Johnson's executive order requiring that federal contractors and contractors performing work on federally assisted construction projects make good faith efforts to take affirmative action to increase minority employment.