Bannon Warns Trump About The Greatest Threat To His Candidacy

October 26, 2016


Donald Trump’s campaign CEO, Stephen Bannon, a darling of the Alt-Right, reads the New York Times every day, even though he hates it.


So yesterday he read the article in the Times by Matthew Rosenberg and John Markoff, "The Pentagon’s’ Terminator Conundrum’: Robots That Could Kill On Their Own.”


Immediately, Bannon thought, “When The Donald becomes president, he should give a command to send a drone straight to Paul Ryan’s office.”


But Bannon is today much more worried about the threat to his client from the Kotlikoff for President Party. He expressed his concerns to Trump early this morning. Associate solitary reporter Johanna Jones was with the two macho guys.


“Sir,” Bannon began, “you know I only speak truth to power, so I must tell you, the greatest threat to your candidacy is no longer from Hillary Clinton — after all, just as you’ve been saying at your magnificent rallies, the polls are with you. Rather, you need to worry very seriously about Laurence Kotlikoff.”


“And exactly who is that?” Donald Trump demanded.


“He’s a famous professor at Boston University, the author, in 1984, of an article called Deficit Delusion. That plays in perfectly with the Tea Party, and we have a tracking poll that says that the Tea Partiers are voting for Kotlikoff and not you, Sir. He is the presidential candidate of the Kotlikoff for President Party, and he’s on the ballot in all 50 states and the District of Columbia.”


“So why in hell is he running against me?”


Bannon promptly produced a research assistant who tremulously explained to Mr. Trump that Kotlikoff served on President Reagan’s Council of Economic Advisors.


“And, Mr. Trump, Sir, Professor Kotlikoff says it’s high time that somebody with solid academic credentials should lead the country.”


Trump immediately ordered Bannon and Campaign Manager Kellyanne Conway to tell Kotlikoff either to drop his candidacy right away, or accept the job of lowest-level staffer for the Council of Economic Advisors in the Trump Administration.


Reached by telephone in his office at Boston University, where he is the William Warren Fairfield Professor of Economics, Kotlikoff told Bannon and Conway that Trump’s demagogic rhetorical flourishes on the campaign trail make him what he is, a disgrace to the human race.




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