Despite Bannon's Claims, Hillary Is Much Healthier Than Donald

BROOKLYN — Ungracious man that he has always been, former Breitbart News Chairman Steve Bannon, now the CEO of the Trump campaign, has been spreading virulent rumors about HRC’s health (


But Bannon seems to be blissfully unaware that his perpetually hate-mongering candidate, who constantly has diarrhea of the mouth, is more than likely to explode at one of his mega-rallies.


HRC is 68 and DT is 70. DT has released a one pager from his gastroenterologist, but other physicians, including, notably, Dr. Burton Lee, who was Bush One’s personal physician during his four years as president, have called for much more transparency on Trump’s part. DT regularly eats fast food, doesn’t get much sleep, and seldom takes vacations.


After reading yesterday’s report in the Times by Patrick Healy about the physical readiness for the presidency of the two leading candidates (, Surgeon General (and Vice Admiral) Vivek Murtha told a solitary reporter that Trump’s health prospects are much worse than Clinton’s, but promised to provide all necessary medical services when Trump experiences his first heart attack while campaigning. “But you know, SR,” Murtha said, “I'd really appreciate it if he would come to his senses and quit attacking the Affordable Care Act, which has kept Secretary Clinton very healthy indeed, because it is so terribly important that everybody in this country have good, affordable health care. She worked valiantly during her husband’s first term to persuade the Congress to pass meaningful legislation to reform our broken health care system, but the GOP stonewalled, and President Obama managed to get it passed.”


After learning in a roundabout way about Dr. Murtha’s comments, Bannon called the NRA’s Wayne LaPierre and reminded him that his organization had tried, but failed, to defeat Murtha’s nomination as Surgeon General, and ordered LaPierre to rally all his gunslingers to protest.


For his part, Trump demanded that Murtha, an Indian-American, be deported to Karnataka, India, where his parents came from originally.


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