YOUNGSTOWN, OHIO – In a scripted speech yesterday at Youngstown State University, the nation’s leading fearmonger, Donald Trump, promised that the era of nation-building would end under a Trump Administration (while he makes America worse again).
When a solitary reporter reminded Trump that most of America’s nation-building began under W and that a considerable portion of it was terminated under President Obama, Trump told his security thugs to remove the solitary reporter. However, the security detail, ever mindful that Hillary will win in November, refused to comply, causing the candidate immediately to go into an apoplectic rage.
Our of concern for his frail health, Trump was swiftly taken to Humility of Mary Health Partners Hospital on Belmont Avenue, where he was expeditiously injected with an infusion of the quality which he most sorely lacks: humility. As he emerged from Humility of Mary, the mega-billionaire told the solitary reporter that now that he is fully humble, he is quitting the presidential race to move to Slovenia, a small country where his third wife, supermodel Melania, is well known.
“The nation-building which Slovenia most needs,” Mrs. Trump said, “is a lot more casinos.” But Slovenian Prime Minister Miro Cerar told his Minister of Justice, Goran Klemencic, to refuse entry to Trump, as that would create a severe injustice to the loyal and patriotic citizens of Slovenia.