Minnesota Judge Nixes Kiellor's Retirement

THE FITZGERALD THEATER, ST. PAUL, MINNESOTA – Yesterday, just as Garrison Keillor, the creator and host of A Prairie Home Companion, was finalizing his plans to retire on July 2, a solitary reporter rushed into his green room here and handed him a permanent restraining order signed by prominent Minnesota District Judge Kevin S. Burke.


Our space is limited here, so we can only paraphrase Judge Burke’s order.


“How do you expect us Lutherans here in Minnesota to defeat Donald Trump,” the order stated, “if Guy Noir disappears from the airwaves?"


Taken aback, Kiellor thanked the solitary reporter, inhaled several powdermilk biscuits, and told actress Sue Scott to be fully prepared to voice Hillary Clinton for the July 9 show, with actor Tim Russell

playing — who else? —Donald Trump.


In open court, Judge Burke thanked the solitary reporter for judiciously serving as his messenger.


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