Hillary Picks Curiel As Her Veep

BROOKLYN — At her euphoric victory rally here last night, Hillary Clinton claimed victory over rival Bernie Sanders after convincing wins in California, New Jersey, New Mexico, and South Dakota. 


After the celebration, she spotted a solitary reporter who could not resist asking her who her running mate will be.


“SR,” the presumptive nominee said, “don’t tell anybody, but I’ve decided to ask Gonzalo Curiel to be my vice-president.”


“Anybody who can stand up to the constant verbal lacerations of Donald Trump, as Judge Curiel has, is someone who can be trusted to lead our great nation if anything should happen to me.”


“Not only that,” Clinton continued, “Gonzalo is from Indiana — a red state which Barack Obama won in 2008 — and I’d like to bring the Hoosier State back into the Democratic column.”


Associate solitary reporter Jim Smith asked Judge Curiel — who is overseeing a class action lawsuit against Trump University — whether he had actively sought the veep spot.


“No, Mr. Smith,” the judge replied, “but I’m very relieved not to have to sit at the bench and look at a glaring litigant, Donald Trump, for days on end."


Associate solitary reporter John Jones asked Trump’s campaign manager, Corey Lewandowski, for his reaction. 


It took Lewandowski only a nano-second to respond: “Just look at the first three letters of that dirty Mexican’s name,” Lewandowski said, “and you will know his true character."


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