Full Details On Yesterday's Meeting Between Trump and Ryan

RNC HEADQUARTERS, WASHINGTON — Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus has extremely lax security, and is in danger of losing his job because of it.


As the media camped out outside RNC headquarters during yesterday’s long-awaited so-called “meeting” between presumptuous nominee-in-waiting Donald Trump and Speaker Paul Ryan, somehow, unbeknown to Priebus and his top security personnel, a solitary reported slipped inside and attended the closed-door meeting.


“Mr. Trump,” Ryan began, “you have completely upended and hijacked our Grand Old Party.”


“So what?” was Trump's response. “That was my whole point when I started out.”


After Ryan and Trump exchanged insults for several more minutes, House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy (R-California) made an audacious suggestion.


“Mr. Trump, Sir,” McCarthy began, with some trepidation, “you are totally unelectable as our presidential candidate.”


“The hell you say,” Trump immediately shot back. “I have brought millions and millions of dumbshit voters into the Republican Party.”


Ignoring this insult to the Republican base, McCarthy bravely risked further vitriol from the presidential candidate that nobody in the Republican establishment wanted.


“You two guys should just switch positions,” McCarthy said.


“Hunhhh,” what the f____ are you talking about?”


“In Cleveland,” McCarthy continued, “we will nominate Paul, and then we will magically transport you to Janesville, Wisconsin, where we will arrange for you to be elected to Paul’s seat. Then you can be the Speaker, next in line for the presidency after Paul and me."


Ryan was visibly uncomfortable. He gave McCarthy a really dirty look, and said, “Kevin, shut up!”


Trump left the meeting more bitter than ever at the Republican establishment. Of course he won’t admit it, but his political career will be in tatters on November 8 when he loses to Hillary.


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