Roberts To Chair RNC Convention In Cleveland

RNC HEADQUARTERS, WASHINGTON —The Republicans have had such an easy time this year figuring out whom to run for president against Hillary.


And things just got a lot easier for them — maybe. 


Solomon Yue, a member of the RNC’s Rules Committee, wanted to change the rules for the RNC convention in Cleveland from the Rules of the House of Representatives to Robert’s Rules of Order. Yue accused RNC Chairman Reince Priebus of engaging in “institutional tyranny” by insisting on the House of Representatives Rules. Too bad for him, because, at the last meeting of the RNC before their July convention, his idea was turned down. His proposal was designed to give more power at the convention to the delegates, as opposed to party leaders. Robert’s Rules of Order are typically used by civic groups.


As GOP establishment operatives continued to press their case to deTrump Trump, Donald Trump’s supporters issued death threats to uncommitted delegates. Colorado GOP Chairman Steve House, an uncommitted delegate, has been inundated by unauthorized calls to his cell phone ( 


The vast majority of American voters (to the extent they care about who their next president will be) cannot understand why the Republicans would insist on engaging in a debate over what rules should be in place in Cleveland on July 18 in Quicken Loans Arena, since it will make no difference whether it is the House of Representatives Rules, or Robert’s Rules, which will govern their convention, because Trump is gonna come out of Cleveland as the nominee. Trump’s quasi-Presbyterian God has already taken care of that, with help from Jerry Falwell Jr.


Now, Priebus, the Wisconsin political operative who is the current Chairman of the RNC, is not stupid. Why might we say that? Because a solitary reporter was at his side when Priebus called Chief Justice John Roberts.


“John,” Priebus began, “we’ve got a problem.”


“Oh? What’s that?”


“Well, you see, we couldn't figure out which rules to use in Cleveland, and we managed to put down a little mini-rebellion put forth by Solomon Yue, but Ryan, who’s supposed to run the convention, is driving me crazy, worrying about how in hell’s name we can have a smooth as silk convention in July.”


“Well, Reince,” the Chief Justice said, “I can appreciate that.”


“Good,” Priebus he said, “we want you, instead of Paul, to run the convention.”


“And run it with Robert’s Rules. And I don't give a hairy rat's ass how you do it, just deny the nomination to Trump, make damn sure Cruz doesn't get it either, and then give it to Kasich.”


The Chief Justice, a good Republican, said he would think about it.


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