Trump Drops Out

MADISON, WISCONSIN – Wisconsin's capital city is known by many by another name: "The People's Republic of Madison." So it struck many as strange that Donald Trump would convene one of his hatemonger rallies at Camp Randall Stadium, where the University of Wisconsin football team plays. But a solitary reporter was there to observe. The Stadium holds 80,000 people, but it was attended by twice that number, all Democrats.


Trump, grandiose and arrogant as always, addressed a notoriously skeptical crowd: all the members of the Dane County Democratic Party. Madison is the County Seat of Dane County.


As soon as the Republican front-runner took the podium, all 160,000 members of the audience, to a person, began chanting, "Go home to Mommy! Go home to Mommy!"


The unique aspect of this Trump rally was that, unbeknownst to Trump, no Trumpkins (as his supporters have come to be known) were admitted, and the mega-billionaire's campaign manager, Corey Lewandowski, was not there to punch out protesters.


Suddenly and without warning, the candidate dropped to his knees, as the Rev. Eugene Johnson, Senior Pastor of the Madison Pentecostal Assembly, a megachurch, prayed with him. Sobbing uncontrollably,  the duo began singing "Amazing Grace," and Trump tearfully said "All these years, I've been thinking only about myself and how to accumulate as much lucre as possible. I was blind, but now I see, with the help of Rev. Johnson."


"I'm done. Your toughass governor, Scott Walker, should get back in the race, because he's a whole lot better than that dumbo from Texas, Ted Cruz."


Reader alert: This post was written by the Department of Wishful Thinking of the Democratic National Committee.

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