The Perfect Words On Trump's Tombstone

NEW YORK CITY – Here in Gotham, a solitary reporter has been closely observing the reactions of Donald Trump’s fellow New Yorkers to his successful campaign to bury the autopsy from the losing 2012 presidential campaign of Mitt Romney. (After Romney’s loss to Obama, the RNC wrote an exhaustive report, popularly described as The Autopsy, demonstrating what they had done wrong in 2012, and emphasizing the need to make the GOP seem slightly more friendly to women and ethnic minorities, but Trump has completely reversed that prescription.)


And there it was, right there in Central Park, the perfect tombstone, celebrating Trump as the man who Made America Hate Again,,.


Unfortunately, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell and his comrade in arms, RNC Chairman Reince Priebus, moved the offending tombstone, hiding it from public view.


But, ever alert, New York Mayor Bill DeBlasio sent New York’s Finest to recover Trump’s eloquent tombstone. They put it on top of the Empire State Building, where New Yorkers and swarms of tourists are delighted by its message.


Elsewhere, Trump announced that when he is elected president, his campaign manager, Corey Lewandowski, will be his Press Secretary. Lewandowski has been charged with assault in Florida for manhandling reporter Michelle Fields, who only wanted to ask Trump a question. “Corey knows how to get in the face of reporters,” Trump told an adoring crowd in Appleton, Wisconsin, “and that’s what I need to communicate my demands on the American people."


Write a comment

Comments: 0