McConnell, Ryan, Priebus Spotted Building Wall Around Trump Tower

NEW YORK – As the GOP establishment knows full well, if Donald Trump secures the Republican presidential nomination, a Democrat will win the White House.


Thus it is no surprise that this morning, a solitary reporter observed Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, House Speaker Paul Ryan, and RNC Chairman Reince Priebus, and thousands of others, frantically building a wall around Trump Tower. New York Mayor Bill DeBlasio deployed the entire NYPD to assist in the effort. McConnell took a few brief moments away from his trowel to explain: “The Senate Republican Conference met yesterday, and even though we desperately need Trump’s billions to defeat Hillary, we know that she will beat him in a general election, carrying every state."


New York’s governor, Andrew Cuomo, sent his State Police to back up DeBlasio, and President Obama dispatched the Marines and the Army Corps of Engineers. Obama has been privately telling his supporters that it is time to unite behind Hillary in order to defeat Trump.


At press time, Trump Tower was completely enclosed, and Donald Trump will never be able to get in to his home again.


But Cruel Fate intervened. The Donald was not in his home in his Tower but, rather, in his exclusive private club, Mar-A-Lago, in Palm Beach. Florida’s governor, Rick Scott, has endorsed Trump for the GOP nomination.


Obama dispatched the FBI and the CIA to find Trump and send him to an undisclosed location in a foreign country. Former Vice-President Dick Cheney is helping President Obama to make the arrangements.


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